


The Right Kind Of Shit

by gooberAscendant



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Detailed Descriptions of Feces, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-20
Updated: 2014-05-20
Packaged: 2018-01-25 22:29:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1664876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gooberAscendant/pseuds/gooberAscendant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fill for the prompt: Remember when Rose wrote a SBaHJ screenplay?</p><p>(HSWC Bonus Round 1)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Right Kind Of Shit

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]

TG: wow what a piece of shit  
TT: So you like it then?  
TG: no its a piece of shit  
TG: pay attention  
TT: I was to believe that the idea was to produce intentionally terrible content.  
TT: Or have I missed yet another layer of your impenetrable irony.  
TT: Perhaps you legitimately believe your movies to be of actual quality?  
TG: no obviously theyre supposed to suck  
TG: but they have to be the right kind of shit  
TG: gotta have the right texture  
TG: the shits soft at first  
TG: just slides out real nice like  
TG: but then it gets thick and hard  
TG: and it starts to hurt  
TG: makes you wonder what did i eat thats making me shit like this  
TG: what your scripts got is more like a bad case of diarrhea  
TG: you can feel it coming and then it busts out all over the place  
TT: So the problem you have with my work then is that it is too blatant and unfocused?  
TG: obviously  
TG: you can’t just blow your load all at the start  
TG: gotta let it build up behind the scenes  
TG: let the message blast all over their faces once you got them drawn in with some comfortable sex  
TG: like missionary style  
TG: its pretty alright but leaves them wanting something hotter  
TG: but then you change it up and go way hotter than they thought  
TG: just ram it in their ass dry then cum all over their face  
TT: A disturbing shift in metaphor, but I believe I follow.  
TG: they didnt know they wanted that but they leave your place hoping youll call them tomorrow like you said you would  
TG: but you leave them hanging for a few weeks before you toss them a text  
TG: don’t respond to them again for another couple days  
TG: now they want the kinky shit  
TG: so you get a hotel room  
TG: cause you don’t wanna trash your own place  
TG: only now you just have real basic shitty sex  
TG: leave them disappointed and still wanting more  
TG: so then they go out into the world  
TG: and become beautiful fucked up flowers  
TG: who get strangers to butt fuck them in bus stop bathrooms  
TG: to feel some iota of what they had with you  
TG: and that’s what SBaHJ is all about  
TG: its a tease  
TG: you never know when youll get what you want  
TG: but because of that  
TG: you know what you want  
TG: if only for the briefest moment  
TG: anyone can talk a big game about affecting change in the world  
TG: but ultimately you gotta make people want it for themselves  
TG: not just ram it down their throats from the get go  
TT: I see.  
TT: Do you think my script is salvageable?  
TG: oh totally  
TG: just gotta solidify that message a bit  
TG: add some conksucky shit to the beginning  
TG: the kinda terrible people go to these movies for  
TG: and then tease the message later on  
TG: but never outright say it  
TG: i excpect a second draft on my desk by tomorrow  
TG: cause this piece of shit is gonna go places  
TT: Your desk.  
TG: the trashcan outside the movie theater in my basement  
TT: Ah.

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]


End file.
